I can never actually say outloud how I feel and what i wish without trying to get past my sobs, so it’s better if I just write it down.
I feel worthless, like everyone hates me and judges me for how ugly I am and how annoying and fat I am. I’m jealous of everyone. I wish I could be them. I wish I could be anyone but myself. I hate my hair, I hate my skin, I hate my stomach, my thighs, my butt, my nose, my nails, my eyebrows, my hands, my smile, my everything. I wish I could burn everything off and someone new would appear in place of my everything. I wish I could tell my boyfriend my problems without worrying he would think i’m crazy. I wish I could just let all my feelings out. I wish that when I cried I actually felt better afterwards, I wish it didnt hurt me. I wish my friend would stop pointing out all my flaws when what I need is help. I wish people knew how much i’m hurting inside. I wish I was smart and pretty like all the other girls. i wish my moms could accept the fact that i’m not as smart as everyone else and i’m trying my hardest. I wish I didnt have to keep quiet at night as i’m crying myself to sleep for the 100th time in a row. I wish I had the confidence to do things. I wish I could believe that my boyfriend loved me. I wish I could believe that people thought I was smart. I wish I had the confidence to let people know i feel. I wish I was gone.